Why I love the 2007-2008 Patriots

The Sports Rant

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As a football fanatic, I willingly give up my hard-earned money to watch entertaining and spectacular football. I define entertaining as an offense that scores massive points and a defense that hurts everything that moves. This is exactly what the Patriots have been giving me week after week. They go out there and they try their best to score as many points as they can and beat up the other team’s offense. And you know what? I appreciate their efforts. I mean, who wants to watch a football game that finishes 6-3 or 3-0. A more spectacular score is 52-7 or 100-0. I love offensive football and I thank Bill Belichick and Patriots for giving me my fix of wild offensive football.

I am really getting tired of hearing about how Belichick should bench his starters once they are up by a million points. Why should he do that??? Belichick is an entertainer and he wants to make sure that the fans got what they paid for. I mean, we all paid good money to see Moss and Brady kick ass! I don’t want to see the backup quarterback or third-string running back fumble the ball. We should all thank Belichick for keeping the starters in the game so that we can marvel at their phenomenal talent. I mean, think about it, why do we hate watching pre-season football? Because it is filled with no-talent losers who are trying to prove that they are good. Belichick is saving us all from this by having his starters on all the time. It’s not his fault that his team is so talented that they are up by 50 by the end of the first quarter. There is a sports motto that says: “give 110% all the time“. Well the Pats live by this motto!

The only people that bitch and whine about sportsmanship and etiquette are the looser teams who just got pounded by the Patriots. Its kind of like, in Peewee sports. The parents of the looser kids are always crying foul play when their kids get decimated by tougher, stronger, more talented kids. And you know what? I understand their complaints. But in the case of the NFL, these are paid athletes who make millions playing football. They spend all week preparing for the game and watching game footage. These teams should be able to find a way to stop the Patriots or they deserve to get slaughtered. Either stop the Patriots or get stomped by them. There are no other options! But for heavens sake, stop bitching about how they run up the score. This is not Peewee football. The Pats can score as many points as they like. My advice to the other teams in the league is: Stop them or shut up!

If I was Belichick , I would do exactly what the real Belichick is doing. Except that I would NEVER use the backups. “Oh, we’ve scored 100?” Who cares, let’s break the NFL record that we set last week by scoring 107 this week. And then, next week, we’ll score 114 so that we break this week’s record. It’s called striving for perfection. The other thing that I would do different from the real Belichick is that I would not have mercy on the other teams. Last week, I KNOW that Belichick told his defense to let Washington score. That’s because contrary to popular beliefs, Belichick has a heart. I, on the other hand have no heart. I would threaten my defense if they let the other team score. And my offense would continue to kick ass all over the field. I would never kick field goals and would fire the punter. ( Seriously, the punter is getting paid way too much to simply watch the game.)

I mean, think about it, the NFL’s whole motto is massacre and destroy. We have team names like the Vikings (Kill, pillage, plunder), The Raiders ( the name says it all), The Ravens ( the bird of death) and the Bears. The Patriots are simply a manifestation of all of these names. They kick ass and take names. And you know what? I LOVE IT!!! We should rename them to the VikingRaidersBearsRavensKillersWhoKickAssriots!

In conclusion, the Patriots kick ass and everybody sucks.

big M

Big M. is part of the dynamic duo of Big D. and Big M. They form the awesome team of of D&M and they maintain the site everybodysucksbutus.com

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