Dear Mr. Warren Buffett, Please Buy Our Website.

Posted on Friday, March 7th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Filed under: General Talk
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According to Forbes Magazine , Mr. Warren Buffett is now the richest man on the planet. That?s right, Mr. Buffett, worth $62 billion (?30.8 billion), is now richer than Bill Gates who is only worth $58 billion (?28 billion). Based on this new fact, we have decided to write an open-ended letter to Mr. Warren Buffett. The purpose of the letter is simple: Big D and I are prepared to sell our website, EverybodySucksButUs.com to Mr. Buffett. Check out our letter to Mr. Buffett:

Dear. Mr Buffett,

How are you? We hope that all is well with you. My name is Big M. My friend Big D and I are big fans of your work. We don?t know what exactly it is that you do, but we know that you are really really rich. Anyways, We are writing you this letter to find out if you would be interested in buying our website EverybodySucksButUs.com. This is a one-time deal and we couldn?t think of anybody more deserving than yourself. That is why Big D and I are prepared to give you our website for the unbelievably cheap price of $5 million dollars.

Now, I know what you?re thinking to yourself: ?why are they selling their site for so cheap?? Well, it?s because we wanted to celebrate your accomplishment with you. And what better way to celebrate being the richest man on the planet than by buying a website for $5 million dollars? Better yet, its a site that tells the world what you already know: Everybody sucks but you!
Once you?ve bought the website, we are prepared to do whatever changes you would like us to do. For example, we could rename our, oops, your website to EverybodySucksButWarrenBuffet.com.

We could even change the slogan from ?you suck, we?re awesome? to ?we suck, Warren Buffet is awesome?. And since our website is all about the world of awesome vs the world of suckyness, you tell us who sucks and we will let the world know that they suck! It?s what we do and we are really good at it.

And if you ever get bored with telling everybody how much they suck, then we could entertain you. Big D and I are really really good at doing monkey tricks. Big D can lick his elbow!!! Do you know that it is impossible for any other human on the planet to lick their elbow?? ( Go ahead and try? ) I?ve got some pretty cool tricks too, but we will only show you these tricks once you?ve bought our website?

Finally, if you are not interested in buying the website, Big D and I are prepared to work for you. We don?t want to rip you off or anything so, we will only be asking for $1 million dollars each. However, we are very flexible when it comes to our vacations and benefits. As your employees, we would use EverybodySucksButUs.com, darn, I meant EverybodySucksButWarrenBuffet.com to let the world know that Warren Buffet is Awesome and everybody sucks.

So Mr. Buffet, would you like to buy our website? If so, please use our contact form to get in touch with us. Remember, this is a limited-time offer. Don?t miss this opportunity. Otherwise, you might come back and see that we?ve changed the site to EverybodySucksButBillGates.com.

Sincerely,
Big M & Big D (aka, your new employees)

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